Saturday, July 23, 2005
Marriage, where is thy sting?
Now if this isn’t a sign of the times, I don’t know what is. It seems that “’Til death do us part” has the ring of too much permanency to it for some folks at who find themselves at the alter. So they are replacing the offending phrase with something a little less binding – phrases like “For as long as we continue to love each other,” or “As long as our marriage serves the greater good.”
What a great idea. Take the actual commitment out of the equation. Here are a few more alternate phrases people might want to use:
“’Til someone sexier or richer comes along.”
“As long as there are no diapers to change.”
“’Til work on Monday do us part.”
“As long as the Mets continue to dominate.”
“As long as you don’t get fat.”
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I say you turn this to your advantage--in a lucrative sense, that is. You offer your services as a marriage vows consultant, get to know the couple, find out what would really tick them off enough or bore them enough to leave the relationship, and then make up some vows for them to speak. Would that be awesome, or what?
And what happens when I get fat? He just walks away scot free with no further obligations? And what if my definition of fat isn't the same as his? I envision a pre-nup business on the side.
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And what happens when I get fat? He just walks away scot free with no further obligations? And what if my definition of fat isn't the same as his? I envision a pre-nup business on the side.
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